Welcome to my dating blog called 55 and Single!

You guessed it! I'm 55 years old, and I am single (not by my own doing - my much younger husband deserted me and fled to his Bosnian homeland, without so much as a second thought). His advice to me was simply: move on and live your life. So that is what I intend to do, and I am going to chronicle my adventures using various dating websites, blind dates, or whomever I happen to meet that is interested in dating.

I am new to the dating scene (had two marriages: 1st one lasted 28 years; 2nd one lasted 5 years). It's a scary world out here, women, and the rules and expectations have changed dramatically since I was last single. Being a "cougar" also adds to the mix, so I hope you will check back on my progress. Feel free to share your thoughts as I journey alone in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

Happy reading!

55 and SINGLE!

55 and SINGLE!
Would you date me?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

2 Good 2 B True

So date #3 with my Moroccan Prince started on time, but he brought along his visiting niece from Paris. I didn't mind at first because I thought I'd have a chance to brush up my francais and have a person to visit if I ever make it to France. And I still wasn't all that big on being alone with him (I had been uncomfortable with the hand holding and kisses). Anyhow, he picks me up and guess who's sitting in the front seat? Plus he didn't open the back door for me. Oh, so maybe this isn't a date after all. So as I sit quietly in the back, he says "are you o.k., why so quiet, my Princess?" Duh! Maybe it's the third wheel sitting next to you. Anyhow, he takes us to this fab seafood buffet across town, and it was quite fun. Although I did start to notice little things that bug me about him, like eating with his mouth open and talking with food in his mouth. Just little things. Oh and the accent and not being able to understand what he was saying was getting old. And him always answering a sentence with, huh? you know what I mean? Anyhow, niece starts holding her stomach all through dinner and I ask her if she's ill. She says it's acid reflux. So even though she took two heaping platefuls of food, which she barely touched, she still managed to kill the dessert table with no problem. Me, on the other hand, devoured every mouthful. So the plan after dinner was that we were going to hear some jazz music (I had put tickets aside for us). Lo and behold, we start heading in the other direction to his house and apparently niecy was too ill to come so we were dropping her off. He gave me a tour, very Moroccan, very clean, most fab bed I had ever seen (huge 4-poster), too bad he'll never see me in it! Anyhow, off we go, an hour late for the show, and he says when we get there that he hasn't slept in 2 days (I told you he was a workaholic) and was just going to take a cat nap, and then he would come to catch the second half and meet mom. I'm still waiting to hear from him. Funny thing, as I had almost completely talked myself into a relationship, the universe came through with an out. I had wondered how I was going to break it to Mr. Nice Guy without hurting him. And now I have the perfect reason. He ditched his Princess. He knew I didn't have a ride home. So I had to wait for the band to finish packing up their stuff (did I ever feel like a groupie) and then one of my brother's bandmates who lives a block from me, offered me a ride home. As I sat alone drinking a complimentary glass of red wine, I told myself, "men ain't sheet." Even though I knew he was tired, and I told him it was okay if he didn't stay, he was the one who insisted on coming back. Being left in the club brought back unpleasant memories from a former crackhead BF. My sister-in-law remarked earlier, "you have to stay away from these men who like to sleep in cars." I looked at her questioningly. Then I remembered my absentee husband, pulling that same ploy. At any rate, on the ride home, I had a nice conversation with a sax player that I had just met. If it hadn't been for the new gorsight that emailed from El Paso earlier yesterday, I probably would have felt worse than I did. Plus my bro said to me, "if I were you, I'd have lots of BFs." So note to self: If he doesn't seem like your type, no matter how nice, go with your inner voice and just keep looking. Because if there was a spark, height nor lack of teeth would matter. Sounds like a plan!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Look Outside the Box

So I got an email from a guy, and he said, beautiful princess, could I take you to dinner. I had received an earlier email from this guy, maybe a few weeks ago, but I had too many Bachelors on the go, and I just ignored it. But the thought of a man actually spending money on me intrigued me and after all the losers I've experienced, why not give a gentleman a chance, right? So I answered his email with a yes and anytime. He emailed me back, how about tomorrow at 6, what kind of food do you like? So I told him I was a vegetarian, and I didn't have a restaurant preference. So he offed this high-end restaurant, and I quickly agreed to meet him there. It was only a few blocks from my home, but I drove myself because it was raining. I arrived promptly at 6 and I noticed him pacing in front of the restaurant, while on his cell. I could see that he was shorter than he wrote on his profile (he was more like 5'5" then 5'7") but I promised myself to be totally open-minded and give this one a chance. He looked like his picture and kissed me European style upon greeting me. He held the door for me (bonus points) and then asked if I wanted to eat in the restaurant or lounge. We chose the restaurant. He ordered calamari and mussels and clams for appetizers (yikes, that's a meal for me) and he insisted that I order a main course. I gladly chose the lobster tail dinner (might as well see how deep his pockets were, right?). This is not something I usually do but I was curious to see how authentic this guy was. He was a total gentleman and the most generous and caring guy I have ever dated. We had a nice conversation and we even had dessert and specialty coffees (ka-ching). I did bring money just in case I got the shock of going dutch, but no way. This man knew the chef and stopped to talk to him and then as we were walking out the door, he said to me, it's too early for us to part so I'm kidnapping you. So we jumped into his Mercedes SUV (triple bonus points), and he drove me to this quaint middle eastern bakery and after spending ($43.00) dollars on treats, he handed me a big box of goodies and told me to bring them home to my daughter. I told him my daughter wouldn't eat many, nor would I, but he said just bring them into work (which is exactly what I did). He then gave me a tour of his mosque (yes, he's Muslim), his market, and we even drove by his home and then back to the restaurant. He dropped me at my car and gave me a polite peck on the lips and told me I had beautiful eyes and kissed me on the bridge of my nose. As I drove home, I couldn't help but wonder if this is how a true gentleman treats a lady. This man was a true gem, albeit short, but his heart oozed love and respect and kindness and goodness. Maybe I should stop looking for Mr. Gorsight (gorgeous sight) and stick with a GOOD man instead. What a phenomenon! A man who respects you, treats you like a Queen, and loves life. Did the universe send this man my way? Will I be smart enough to go against the grain and give him a chance? This man in one evening showed me all the characteristics I was searching for in a man. Yes, I know, maybe he was a fraud, but I don't think this man had one negative thought in his mind. As I thought about what it felt like to be treated nicely, I called him and left him my phone number. The least I could do after a fabulous evening. He mentioned that he would love to take me to a Seafood Buffet if I was available on Sat. I said, I'd love to, and he said he'd give me a call tomorrow. Tomorrow is today (Friday) and when I didn't hear from him, I was a little taken aback. So I called him (to make sure he got my message) and he said he was going to call me and maybe we could go for a coffee tonight (don't say it, I know 2 dates in a row is a bit much, but I can't say no to this man). So we went for tea, and I had a chance to get a good look at him in better light. Is this a man I could grow to like? Could I get beyond the height and appearance? Almost as if he read my mind, he said, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, if your heart is beautiful, it doesn't need any trimmings. That's the problem with this one - he speaks from his heart and says all the right things. So date #3 is tomorrow and he's meeting my mom. I'll keep you posted!

Crazy New Yorker

My eldest daughter told me that I was looking for "the One" to happen instantly. I beg to differ. I am looking for hope...I am looking for possibility. So I gave Mr. New York, another chance to disprove his insanity. I have found him to be controlling, jealous, and totally bad news. When he left me a message to never walk away from him, I was perplexed. I decided to go for the jugular and so I told him I would marry him if he sent me a ticket to New York because how else could that happen, right? He said, is that all it would take. I said yes. He said if I come to visit you, will you send me a ticket? I said, no. You're the big businessman living in the financial district in a 3bd. 2 ba. in Manhattan - I would think you could afford it more than me. I believe the guy is a hermit, who doesn't even take the time to eat, and furthermore I think he is totally cheap because for some strange reason, he hasn't got back to me about the ticket. Although I did close my yahoo messenger and haven't checked my text messages, but when he told me he would feed me ______ (fill in the blank with the grossest thing you can think of), I knew I had to get rid of him. Next...

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bachelor #4 - In New York - Concrete jungle where dreams are made of?

So I have got a little closer and more personal with Mr. New York. We chatted on Y-Messenger for two hours last night, and I have to give it to him, he knows all the right things to say. Apparently, he is mesmerized by my smile and kept trying to get me to webcam myself so he could see me. But I stalled (I felt a little uncomfortable doing that since I don't really know him yet). We got to know each other's backgrounds, and he said some pretty sweet things, such as, when I look at you, you make my heart melt (sweet, right!); your smile will make a man smash his car; and when I look at you, I see my wife (that was fast). He sounds like a keeper, although he is 3,000 miles away. After all those sweet nothings, I did webcam myself (even though he didn't have one) but it felt like I had a peeping tom or stalker checking me out, so I asked if he didn't mind, I would cancel it. I did find out that he is Spanish and a workaholic electrical engineer. At least, he has a job!! Bonus points!!! He sent me another picture, and even my daughter commented that he was attractive, so that is saying something. He says he will pick up a microphone and webcam soon so we can see each other and hear each other's voices. I'm hoping that this one turns into a hook-up. SCREEEECHHHHH!!!!!

Well, of course, it's too good to be true. I just spent 2 more hours talking to him on webcam, and he proposed marriage. He said I was his future wife. Run....run very fast. What is it with these online men? Sex is the first thing on their minds. Talk about one track! Excuse me, but I don't need to know the size of your member. I don't need you to tell me what you are going to suck? Am I a born-again virgin or what because this stuff is grossing me out. Anyhow, if and when, New York/New York comes and visits, time will tell if he sweeps me off my feet. btw he sent me an up-to-date picture, and he looks like an old, hairy sleazy guy. Yikes. I guess my expression showed my shock because he said that I stopped smiling, and that if he was too hairy, he would shave it all off for me. What? He said he would do anything for me, just as long as I marry him. Then the clincher: he asked if he could watch me sleep. Can we all say together and very loudly: I SMELL A PEEPING TOM/PSYCHO! What am I? A magnet for insane lunatics?!?! Oh well. The 29-year-old DJ is looking really appetizing right now.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Plenty of Fishes = Plenty of Losers!!

Well, I have had it with POF. All 3 of the guys that I met for coffee haven't materialized into anything worthwhile. Of course, Bachelor #1 is still smitten and still believes I'm the one for him. I did face a major setback, and I emailed him to in fact go out for dinner (hey, he was the only one so far who wanted to spend some money on me, and I got to thinking: hmmm, maybe I was a little too hasty). His response was: You're still the only one for me. That did it again and totally scared me off, so I haven't responded to his dinner request. Bachelor #2 emailed me after a week and the first thing he said was: "When are you going to suck my bleep?" I emailed him back and told him to get the woman he's been emailing and spending time with to do that or better yet, to suck it himself, and I promptly deleted him from my contacts. Bachelor #3 who seemed the most promising (being a journal writing yogi) turned out to be the most un-authentic bachelor to date as he didn't call me after a week (like he promised he would) nor did he email me. But funny every night he's emailing somebody and spending long hours chatting (I can tell because I made my profile invisible!) to someone, and it ain't me. So, sorry Charlie, your tuna is not good enough for me. You're a fake and a fraud. See, I'm no dummy to detecting players and bullsheeters. So alas people, he was way TOO good to be true and besides there was zero chemistry anyhow.

So I joined another random free dating site, and in two days I have received two emails from two fellows in NY. Go figure. Might come in handy since I have family that lives there. Anyhow, the first guy is 40, Catholic, and told me that seeing my smile every day makes him very happy (these guys don't get out much, do they?). After six emails back and forth, we have exchanged yahoo emails and will get to know each other starting tomorrow. The second NYer is Native Indian and would like to get to know me better, so we have exchanged yahoo emails as well. I will keep you posted as to how either relationship does or does not pan out. Don't be afraid to leave me a comment. I love hearing from you.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Date #3 - Mr. Yoga - May 1, 2010

So I had been talking to Mr. Y on the phone for about a week, getting to know him, building a trust base, so when Saturday arrived, I was truly excited to meet the face behind the voice. He told me he journaled, did yoga, had finally found himself after all these years. Finally, a spiritual man!! Here's his stats: blonde, blue-eyed, 5'8" (although he seemed shorter), 47 years old, single earring. He looked exactly like his profile pic, but I had hoped he would look a little different in person. So I had to wait for the hockey game to be over (and it went into O.T.) for our date to begin. He called when he was at the aforementioned Starbucks around 2:30 p.m. I was very nervous, hoping that he was the one. When I told my sister that he journaled and did yoga, she said, don't be hasty, sis, give him a chance. (She knows my track record and my type.) So he bought me a tea and since he was an outdoor-type guy, I suggested we go for a walk to the river's edge. But instead of doing the 110 steps to get down to the golf course, I took him on the forest path (I must have really trusted him because he certainly could have raped and killed me in the bush, but he didn't) and I didn't feel wary at all. So we walked and walked and talked and got to know each other for 2 hours. I think I talked to much and bragged about my family a little too much and then as we were walking back home, a biker on the opposite path accidentally veered into Mr. Y, and the biker fell off his bike quite shaken. Mr. Y was fine and commented how good that was for his ego, as it didn't even phase him to be hit by a bike. He did voice concern over the biker (another bonus). So I asked him where his car was, but he said he lent it to his roommate's girlfriend since he didn't need it (Thought: maybe he doesn't really have a car!?) He asked me how did I manage to look so good at 55, and I said must be "good genes" as my mom looks 60 and she's 81. I kept wanting there to be more of a spark. Maybe I was mad because I took second fiddle to hockey. He asked for my cheek, as the bus pulled up, and then he gave me a quick peck and off he went. He had asked me if I would go out with him again. And I said, for sure. So I went home, kind of disappointed that there wasn't enough magic but I did observe extreme kindness by him (asking to pet a cute pug puppy, picking up garter snakes), and just being totally (almost too much so) polite. He said he'd call me that night, but he didn't. So I was a little disappointed. I did notice his number on my phone around 5 though, but no message. Hmmm. I'm thinking he felt as I did and maybe realized there wasn't much spark there. Time will tell on this one. There is such a thing as being TOO nice. Note to self: He's needs a little more edge for my liking.