Date #2 - Monsieur Frenchman, April 21, 2010

So I met Pepe La Pew at the same Starbucks, and he was just as handsome as his picture, except he was missing his foo-manchu, which made him way less sexy. So our plan was for him to talk French to me (my french was rusty) and I was to help him with his English. I should have known when he texted me in French if I had bought some condoms, that I was in trouble. I immediately texted him back and said there would definitely be no sex on our first date!!! Has it been that long? Do women give it up immediately? Haven't they read Steve Harvey's book? Maybe I'm just feeling prudish and still holding out for my husband or something. Anyhow we chatted and he bought me some kind of ice tea lemonade slush drink, which I nursed nervously. He told me I was more beautiful than my profile picture and said that he was definitely interested. So we went for a walk along the river valley, holding hands, and still conversing. We stopped at a park bench and he started ravishing me with sloppy kisses. Yikes I thought. So I kept turning away and laughing all the while. So he nestled his lips in my ears and hair and neck. Remembering that I haven't been touched by a man in 6 months, I was enjoying all of this action but I felt like I was cheating on my absentee husband. So it was getting late, and he wasn't coming forward with any dinner plans, so I told him I couldn't have him come back to my place, as I just didn't do that on the first date, after all he could have been Ted Bundy. At any rate, I offered to give him a ride home (since he said he was going to walk home: translation - broke, no money for bus. So he fondled me and kissed me goodnight and told me to SMS him. I think that means to text him.

Note to self: You don't want another new immigrant, learning ESL, living in a storefront with 2 roommates with a) no job; b) no place of his own; c) no money, and d) no car. Not that I'm superficial, but I have a tendency to settle for sexiness over being able to provide. Thumbs down.

Date #1 with Italian Stallion (48 years old) - April 19/10

So I met Mr. Stallion at the corner Starbucks, walking distance from my place. We had tazo mint green tea which was supposed to be decaf (which wasn't because I was up all night trying to get to sleep). Anyhow, he showed up, looking a little bit like Ricardo Montalban, around 5'6", very easy to talk to, very smitten with me. We talked about travel and fishing; he said he wanted someone to share his life with, someone like me. We made plans for a dinner date at Red Lobster, and when it was time to say goodbye, he tried to kiss me, fully on the lips. I pulled away and said that I didn't kiss on the first date (unless I find you totally irrestible, which I didn't), but he persisted, until I was literally ducking and trying to move away. After several attempts, he yielded to just kissing my hand. Phew!

Date Notes: Was he the one? No. Could I imagine myself in a relationship with him? No. Could I see myself kissing him and/or making out with him? No. 3 Strikes