BAMBOOZLED

All I can say is OMIGOD! And thanks to my detective sister. Well, you know how I was bragging last week about all the men from all over the world that were texting me daily, well, they were all a scam. All one and the same person!!! So Frank George, Jason Fred, Jim Michael, and Julius O'Neill were all one and the same man. I should have seen the pattern...duh! And isn't it funny that all the compliments and praise started to get to an old 55-year-old woman, and I was starting to believe that I was really just THAT popular. But the telltale signs were: they always ask for your home email first, then your phone no., then they profess to love you (after a few days) and apparently the next thing would have been them asking for money. I'm dumb, but I'm not totally stupid, okay. When the first guy said he loved me, I told him no, you don't, you don't know me. But when 3 out of the 4 were all totally and completely in love with me, that's when I sent Detective sister the love letter that I got, which she in turn googled, and found it on loveletters.com. The pictures of his kitchen, she found those too online and the fake son and fake photos of all 4 guys were all bogus - models' pictures. I feel violated and used. They must have thought they had me because I wasted one week of my life talking to them. This must be a sign from God that I shouldn't use online dating, but fear not, I have seen the light and have cancelled my subscription to Metrodate! Ladies beware - it's bogus. They are not who you think they are. It all started getting suspicious when all the guys sounded the same and one was supposed to be in Dubai working while the other was in Nigeria buying antiques. Funny, why were the phone nos. almost identical. They were all widows with one child or had been betrayed by a woman. The ploy is they flatter us, tell us they love us, then we're supposed to do anything for them, including send them money. But I had trouble with the I love you part. It hinted of psycho stalkerism. Why are 3 guys in love with me at the same time? And as hard as it is to a) get guys to text us constantly online or b) get a man to tell us he loves us or c) just getting a man to call us, why were these guys so eager to say it so quickly and talk to me all night. Oh yeah, they all send pre-typed get-to-know-you emails that go on and on, and if you call them (I have free long distance) and they are supposed to be American, they have foreign accents. I kept asking dude from London, why do you have a Jamaican accent and you're supposed to be Irish! None of it made sense, but while it did make a lonely girl feel wanted and ever-so-popular, it also didn't add up. And because I was playing the field, and because I guess they are all dummies, they didn't think that I would notice all the similarities. When I finally caught the con (thanks to sis), he still wanted me to forgive him. He asked me don't you have feelings for me. And I said, actually, no I don't. I don't know you, I don't love you, and goodbye. When they asked me to come see them or call them long distance, I said no, you phone me or come and see me, and they said, you can't put a price on love. So I was amused and distracted for one week, but now reality has set in, and I have seen the light. I'm done. So now that POF and Metrodate are history, I guess I'll just have to hope to meet Mr. Wonderful in person, which is by far the best way, as what you see is what you get. On the bright side, now I have time to enjoy my summer and get to those goals and sense-of-purpose duties that I have been neglecting.

Btw, Alabama didn't show up to meet me on Saturday (due to his conference), but he claims he will try to make the drive before he heads back to Alabama. No call from Superstore Neil either - I guess boy-toy forgot my no. Maybe I am destined to wait for my absentee husband after all, but one thing for sure, I am SCARED of Metrodate!! I will chalk up my wasted week as being a valuable life lesson! Thanks sis!