Crazy New Yorker

My eldest daughter told me that I was looking for "the One" to happen instantly. I beg to differ. I am looking for hope...I am looking for possibility. So I gave Mr. New York, another chance to disprove his insanity. I have found him to be controlling, jealous, and totally bad news. When he left me a message to never walk away from him, I was perplexed. I decided to go for the jugular and so I told him I would marry him if he sent me a ticket to New York because how else could that happen, right? He said, is that all it would take. I said yes. He said if I come to visit you, will you send me a ticket? I said, no. You're the big businessman living in the financial district in a 3bd. 2 ba. in Manhattan - I would think you could afford it more than me. I believe the guy is a hermit, who doesn't even take the time to eat, and furthermore I think he is totally cheap because for some strange reason, he hasn't got back to me about the ticket. Although I did close my yahoo messenger and haven't checked my text messages, but when he told me he would feed me ______ (fill in the blank with the grossest thing you can think of), I knew I had to get rid of him. Next...